We live in a world where shaming people on the internet and cancel culture has become the norm. It is impossible nowadays to browse through our Facebook or Twitter feed without stumbling on a post about a “rude” waiter who “ruined” someone’s dining experience.

Or, more recently, a video showing an angry “Karen” who refuses to wear a mask, egging others to pile on and join in. With easy access to cameras and the internet on our devices, it is both easy and tempting to shame someone for inappropriate or unethical behavior.

At Minc Law, we field calls from thousands of victims of online shaming and internet harassment each year, and help hundreds of clients deal with the negative consequences. Having seen both sides of the issue, we would like to share some reasons you should think twice before shaming someone on the internet or social media.

Online shaming can lead to harsh consequences for the poster, the person being shamed, and others. Some of the serious consequences associated with online shaming include:

  • Ruining reputations and careers;
  • Causing severe psychological damage;
  • Being targeted or shamed yourself; and
  • Civil and criminal lawsuits.

In this article, we will discuss the (often unintended) consequences of online shaming and why it should be avoided. Then we will provide some alternatives to shaming – so people can feel heard without the dire consequences.

We will start by discussing common reasons people shame others, from individuals to businesses, and how social media has magnified the punishing consequences of public shaming.

Contents

Common Reasons for Online Shaming

Public shaming is not a new concept. Public humiliation and punishment are universal human behaviors that have occurred in society for ages. However, the advent of the internet and social media use to shame has taken this bad behavior to a whole different level. With online shaming people engage in social shaming at a much larger scale, in more organized ways, and acts of public punishment have greater consequences than ever to the people that are affected.

Before taking a look at all the potential negative consequences online social media shaming has on people who are shamed (and on the shamers themselves), it is helpful to understand the most common reasons why people engage in this behavior.

Below are some of the most prevalent reasons why we currently see people engage in shaming behavior.

Cheaters & Adulterers

As every ninth-grader who read The Scarlet Letter will confirm, sexual impropriety has long been a source of public shame. Today, entire websites “shaming sites” (e.g. CheaterReport.com, ShesAHomewrecker.com) have devoted their corner of the internet to shaming those accused of infidelity.

To make matters worse, much of the content posted to cheater sites is intimate in nature – often depicting nude images or videos of the accused cheater. For many people, the personal nature of the content shared only amplifies the psychological damage of the shaming incident.

Deadbeats

Much like the websites created solely to shame cheaters, websites have also been created to call out “deadbeats” that focus on behavior the shamer finds morally unacceptable. Websites like DeadbeatsExposed.com shame individuals for a variety of behavior from failure to pay child support to parents caught doing drugs.

“Johns”

The term, “John” has been a part of the American vocabulary for quite a bit longer than the much newer “Karen” label. If you are unfamiliar, “John” is a reference to a man caught soliciting prostitutes.

Like the sites that expose cheaters and deadbeats, websites like PredatorsAlerts.com exist as a place for shamers to vent about others’ socially unacceptable behavior.

Negative Business Reviews

Technically, the oldest complaint known to man is over 3,700 years old, made by the customer of a Babylonian copper merchant. That is right, complaints about poor service are nothing new.

But, sites designed solely for negative online complaints like RipoffReport.com, Scam.com, and PissedConsumer.com provide a new outlet to vent about an age-old problem.

While ancient complaints may have rippled through a small community, today’s consumer complaints can be shared worldwide with just a few clicks – causing almost immeasurable damage.

Doxing

Doxing is a pretty extreme invasion of privacy that has cropped up in recent years. In case you are unfamiliar with the term, doxing happens when someone shares your personal information on the internet. This could mean publicizing your real name, home address, telephone number, place of work (or even more private information).

Doxing is often a tool of internet vigilantes and hackers who want to subject someone they do not like to extreme harassment. Often, doxing victims are public figures or influencers, although it can happen to anyone.

Criminal Behavior

The police blotter in the local newspaper used to be a ripe source for town gossip and shaming. Busybodies would scan the previous week’s arrests anxious to learn who in their community was “up to no good.”

While arrest records are public and often still reported in print media, the internet has made it much easier to share news of criminal behavior and shame the individuals who are accused of it. A whole web-based industry now exists making individuals pay to remove their image off of online mugshot websites.

Naturally, when information regarding criminal allegations is shared, particularly on social media, people can be seen commenting and sharing this information full of condescension, condemnation, and vitriol.

Revenge Porn

The ubiquitous one-liner, “send nudes” has become the subject of many memes. Thanks to cell phones and dating apps, many people are a lot more “free” sharing pornographic images than they once were. A practice referred to as sexting.

One of the primary dangers of sexting is that those who later feel rejected by a potential mate may end up malicious publishing private and intimate content for the world to see.

Sharing sexually explicit content without the subject’s consent is known as revenge porn – and it can be especially problematic. If you have been wronged by an “ex” and feel like sharing explicit images of them as a means of shaming them, you could face serious criminal repercussions. On the flip side, if you discover that private images of you have been shared without your consent on revenge porn websites – it can turn your life upside-down.

Any way you look at it, revenge porn is not worth the negative consequences. If you are inclined to vent about a past relationship, we will provide some better (and legal) alternatives to revenge porn at the end of this article.

The Streisand Effect

The Streisand Effect is a weird, roundabout tale of censorship gone wrong. In 2003, celebrity Barbra Streisand discovered an image of her personal residence online. It turns out the photo was taken as part of a research project and had only been viewed 6 times (2 of which were by Streisand’s attorneys).

Instead of shrugging the incident off, Streisand’s attorneys tried to get the image removed in a lawsuit against the photographer.

The lawsuit was picked up by news media, bringing attention to the very thing that Streisand sought to censor. Within a month of filing suit, the image had approximately 500,000 views. Thus, the Streisand Effect was born: a phenomenon where an attempt to hide something only makes it more popular.

In the context of online shaming, the Streisand Effect is a double-edged sword – hurting both the “shamee” and the shamer. If you make a shaming post, assuming only your close friends and family will see it, it could go viral in ways you never imagined.

Once that occurs, it is almost impossible to backtrack. You might delete the post, but it has already been shared countless times. If you find yourself at the center of a lawsuit over the post, there is no doubt the viral re-posting will be used against you.

“Karens”

If you have not seen a meme or viral video referencing a “Karen,” you are missing out on one of the internet’s most popular tropes (for the moment). If your name happens to be Karen, you are probably all too aware of the negative connotation the name has taken on in recent years.

While not every internet “Karen” is actually named Karen, the pejorative term is used to describe “entitled middle-class white women.” In particular, women that ask to “speak to the manager” or call the police over seemingly inane behavior are deemed “Karens” by internet critics.

In recent months, the moniker has been used to shame those who refuse to wear masks against state health guidelines.

While we are on the subject of “Karens,” it is probably a good opportunity to transition to a discussion of social justice warriors and “cancel culture.”

To learn more about why you shouldn't resort to publicly shaming, check out the post in its entirety at https://www.minclaw.com/why-should-not-publicly-shame-social-media/.